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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Have You Watched Them sleep?

Have You Watched Them sleep?Have you ever watched your parents while they were asleep?

Your father’s body, once big and the strong but now, the big is withered and the strong is weaker. Wisps of grey peek out from his hair, wrinkles now “scar” his forehead and face.
This man works hard every day and would sacrifice anything to make sure his family is provided for and his children get the best education possible.

Or how about your mother, whose soft hands once cuddled and held you close when you were a baby? Now, those hands are dry and rough, bearing evidence of the challenges she faced just for us.

“This woman takes care of our daily needs, constantly nagging and scolding us because of her love for us. But sadly, we often misconstrue her love as control and unfairness.”

I have never thought of watching my parents while they slept. I've watched my cousins sleep when they were babies, all round and cuddly and sweet smelling. But watch my parents? No way!

But after reading this message, I realised that there was indeed much truth in it. In fact, my parents do not have to be asleep for me to realise that they have aged.

Just looking at my mother walk tells me that her legs are not as strong as they were before. Or hearing her ask me for help with that flowerpot in the garden, the one she used to be able to push and drag around the garden without my help.

Or watching my dad lift a 10kg bah of rice. I can easily carry that bag now. I am young. But to him, it is a struggle.

What do all these observations tell me?
Yes, my parents have aged. They are ageing, just as I am ageing. But as I age towards my best years and become stronger, they in turn are becoming weaker. They were once the caregivers and i the receiver. in time, I know our roles will reverse. Like it or not, want it to or not, this is life.

I suppose I have always subconsciously thought that my parents would always be with me, never growing old, It took that message to make me realise that my parents are not immortal. That they, too, will one day leave the world and me. Until then, I will make good use of our time together.

By the way, I'm forwarding that message to all my family and friends to remind them to appreciate what they have now. It will not last...

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Our Parents- Our Living Gods !

GOD CANNOT BE EVERYWHERE SO HE MADE PARENTS
Few days back when i had gone to a park for my evening walk i came across an elderly couple sitting on a bench looking completely dejected and lost talking to each other.
Tired myself and also curious to know about their topic of discussion i went and sat next to them.

After a few moments what i could gather from their conversation was that their only son had migrated to America and they were left alone back here. Every sentence they said to each other conveyed to me their longing their loneliness and their unconditional love for their only son.

My eyes literally welled up with tears and in that instance i realised just how selfish we children have become. In our pursuit to achieve our goals and ambitions we tend to forget the two most important people of our lives our parents.
Those parents who protected us when we were young those parents who nurtured us physically and mentally and guided us through our lives, those parents who wanted us even before we were conceived.

What has the fate of these parents become now? most of them are languishing in old age homes most of them are leading a life of complete loneliness and most of them are discarded when they fall ill.

Why do we children of our parents forget that we are what we are because of these two special people who brought us into this world protected us from nightmares and who encouraged us to chase our dreams.

Well bringing this article to an end i would like to quote a few lines written by 'Dona Maddux Cooper' which says "WHEN YOU WERE SMALL AND JUST A TOUCH AWAY I COVERED YOU WITH BLANKETS AGAINST THE COOL NIGHT AIR BUT NOW THAT YOU ARE TALL AND OUT OF REACH I FOLD MY HANDS AND COVER YOU WITH PRAYER".

"We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents.”
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Understand Your Children

Understand Your Children
4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't any more leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.


A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kind ergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept t o himself and stayed in his room to practice his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. Its winter and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, 'I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was: The letters were for Mummy. My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: "But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: "I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.....
I told my son, "Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn’t help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn’t help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, every day I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room.. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven’t you appeared?

After reading the letter, I can't stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients. Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”

“Children learn to smile from their parents.”

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Think Before You Talk

Think Before You Talk

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him

In court the old man told the Judge: 'They were just comments, didn't harm anyone..'

The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man:
'Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.'

The next day, the judge told the old man: 'Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.'

The old man said: 'I can't do that! The wind spread them and I won't know where to find them.'

The judge then replied: 'The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything.
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'Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.'

So Think Before You Talk.
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Saturday, November 7, 2009

Let the mud settle - Lesson for LIFE

Let the Mud Settle

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there."

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid.

The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!"So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same.

After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said," See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be.... and the mud settled down on its own - and you got clear water.


Your mind is also like that !
When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."

What did Buddha emphasize here?
He said, "It is effortless." Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process!

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